A Good Spanking, Because He Loves You


Before I dive right into why impact play is so enjoyable for so many people, I first need to explain the steps that are very, very important to take before beginning an impact play session, as well as what you absolutely need to do as a follow up to your play time.

Yes, this may seem drab, boring, and too technical or formal, but I absolutely cannot stress enough how important these things are in order to have a healthy and positive experience.

Prepping for impact play:

  1. Know your “4Cs”!!! These are four of the most important things to remember and hold very close during any form of BDSM or kink related practice. Your 4Cs are going to be consent, communication, caring and caution. These are extremely important, I cannot stress that enough!
  2. Consent!!!First, obviously touch base with each other to insure that you are both/all interested and comfortable with engaging in the same activity (such as impact play). If the participating members don’t consent, you don’t go further with that activity. Period.
  3. Communication is one of the most important things to include not only in BDSM practices, but in your every day life. Communicate, communicate, communicate!!! One of the most important things to communicate in preparation for play is discussing what your safe word is. Make your safe word something simple, and easy to remember. You don’t want something complex, because once the endorphins start running, the mind and head become rather fuzzy. The color system is a great one to practice, colors being green, yellow and red. Green is all go, yes, go for it! Yellow being “I am okay, but don’t increase the intensity, hold off, slow down, I need a minute.” Red means STOP, halt, cease action. When you are a dominant or “topping” someone, and they call red you stop. Period. Nothing more. Not one more hit. If you continue after they have called red, without a prior conversation, you have broken their consent.
  4. Caution, meaning check in with your sub/bottom. You don’t want to land someone in the hospital or seriously injure them in any way. Knowing where to hit and where not to hit is extremely important as well. If they have had a bad shoulder injury, don’t wail on that shoulder, be careful of hitting the tail bone, etc. I will be posting a blog post that will go into the safety of BDSM more in depth.
  5. Caring is the last but not the least important by any means. Be kind, even if you are a sadist. Take care of your sub/bottom, make sure they get just as much out of the experience as you do. It should always be a win win situation, and mostly, fun!
  6. Talk about the Do’s and Dont’s. Where are areas that you can and can’t hit/be hit. Is deliberate blood drawing okay, or not? Flush out everything you are okay with and what you aren’t. This plays into the 4Cs above. 
  7. Setting. Where do you want to play? Are others allowed to watch? Do you want this to be sensual and romantic, or do you want to be kidnapped and interrogated?
  8. Decide on what toys you are okay with using and want to use (whips, canes, floggers, paddles, bare hands etc). 

What happens after you finish your impact play session? Cuddles. No, seriously. It is called “after care,” and it is one of the most important steps to make sure you take if you are planning on doing any form of impact play, or play that causes endorphins and adrenaline. After care, such as cuddles, snuggling up in blankets in a soft and cozy place, and drinking water helps your “come down” from the chemical rush that happens in your brain much more tolerable. It also helps insure that the sub/bottom feels cared for and not tossed to the side. Sub drop is a very common thing to occur, even with proper after care. Without after care, that drop can be a lot more intense and extremely hard to cope with. If you are a top/dominant, keep touching base with your sub/bottom for a few days after play to make sure all is happy and well. This may seem like an awful, scary thing, but it really isn’t. It passes, and it is just part of what happens due to the come down from the influx of chemicals that are released in your brain during play.

What happens to your brain and body during impact play? 
Impact play, as well as other forms of play involving pain release endorphins. Endorphins are your brain’s natural “happy chemical.” When enough are released, it has a very similar feel to morphine. The body releases endorphins in “loads.” After one load is released, it takes about ten minutes for another one to be released. During these loads being released, you often feel a sensation of euphoria, relaxation and increased sexual pleasure. There are psychological reasons why spanking and other impact play is so appealing to people. When you are spanked, there is a response in your Pudendal Nerve(s). The sensations received during a spanking, are processed by your body the same way as those received during orgasms or sex.

Now, all that the technical stuff is out of the way, on to the types of toys used in impact play. There is a large variety of types of impact toys you can use. Really, anything you decide to use as a hitting implement could be considered an impact toy. One of my favorites, for example, is a metal baseball bat. I do not recommend that for people who are just starting to explore impact play.
Riding crops, floggers, and canes are all very popular impact toys as well as various types of paddles. The best way to chose an impact toy is to go into your local adult novelty store (like montana Adam & Eve) and do some test slaps. Now, I don’t mean to slap your bum or your legs, but try doing a few different slaps on your inner arm. This will help determine if you like that sensation. You will have toys that provide more of a stingy, sharp pain and some that cause a more thuddy, deep bruising sort of pain. People sometimes lean to one type of pain more so than the other, but some people prefer to have a combination of types of pain.


So, now is the time! Go now, and stock up on your new collection of whips, crops and canes! Adam & Eve Montana has a myriad of types and designs of different impact toys for your pleasure.

Below I have included a link to a wonderfully written blog post that goes more into the details of sub drop, that I mentioned previously.
sub drop

2 thoughts on “A Good Spanking, Because He Loves You

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